7 Things To Do Daily to Increase Your Happiness- Tips from your local Jackson, MS Therapist: Part III
We’re back with Part III of the blog series 7 Things To Do Daily to Increase Your Happiness- Tips from your Local Jackson, MS therapist. I’ve compiled a list of 7 things that you can practice daily that will help you experience happiness in your everyday life. If you missed Part I of this tips for happiness blog series, loop back to Part I on the Therapist Blog page or click here. If you missed Part II that contains the first 4 tips for happiness, check that out on the Therapist Blog page or click here to catch up. So, let’s jump right back in with the last 3 tips on my list…
5. Clear your mind of negativity
Negativity can be contagious. Negativity will suck the happiness right out of even the best situation. Did you know that our mind can even become wired to be negative? That may sound odd, but it’s true. Keeping this in mind, be aware that surrounding yourself with negative people will rub off on you, eventually. Be proactive in minimizing the amount of negativity that you allow into your life. If you need some help to quiet the stress or anxiety in your mind so that you can begin to take stock of where the negativity resides in your life, check out the blog written on Stress (located on the Therapist blog page) or click here for that blog post containing ways to relax your mind and manage stress. You can also check out a free audio file of a 27 minute therapist-guided relaxation technique located on the Therapist Blog page, or click here.
Negativity can come in many forms, so be sure to look out for these and more.
People who complain, criticize or condemn you or others
Negative music, movies, tv shows
Social media (trolling, bullying, the idea of “everybody else’s life is great, except mine”, etc.) or on the News (local or national news, newspapers, magazines, etc.)
Comparing yourself to others
Holding onto anger or a grudge about another person or situation
Negative thoughts about self or others (can include ruminating on poor choices or past mistakes)
Chose to focus on the positives. They are there, you just have to learn to consistently shift your awareness towards them. This can be even more difficult amidst a difficult or trying time. The more you train your mind to focus on the positives, the easier it will be for your mind to find the positives, even during the hard times. #therapist #JacksonMS #happiness
Choice. It’s an amazing thing, yes? The freedom to choose. Unfortunately, we can not always choose if bad things happen to us- such is life. But there is one thing that we do have a choice about in those bad or hurtful situations. We have the choice of action through our mindset. We can choose to focus on the positive, rather than the negative, in any given situation. This may sound like quite a difficult task, or maybe one that you think won’t make that big of a difference. You are right about it being a difficult task. However, let me assure you that mindset during difficult times can literally be the deciding factor in two very different outcomes. Consider this quote, “Emotions are like waves. You can’t stop waves, but you can learn which ones to surf.” So just as you can’t stop emotions from coming, you can choose which ones that you will focus on, act on, and allow a space for in your mind. Choose freedom of choice. Choose positivity.
“What you chose to focus on is what will be.”
6. Self-care (setting up a life that you don’t feel the need to escape)
Self-care seems to be all the rage right now. We all know that there are things that you can do to make sure that you do not become too stressed or too overwhelmed. The key, however, is to find what these things are for you (which self-care techniques work for you-they are not one size fits all) AND make sure that you are doing these self-care tasks that bring you happiness regularly. It is not enough to do a self-care task that makes you feel good, like meeting up with a friend for a coffee or participating in a yoga class, once per month. Self-care has to be completed daily.
Find a variety of self-care activities that you enjoy, are a good fit for you and for your schedule and abilities, and make sure that you implement at least one activity daily. When you start making yourself a priority, you might be surprised how fast you find yourself experiencing happiness in your daily life.
“Self-care is not always about getting some retail therapy, having a spa day, or planting a garden. True self-care is about setting up a life for yourself that you do not feel the need to flee.”
7. Gain Some Perspective
When we have large goals, oftentimes they come with large amounts of work, effort, time, planning, and stress. As with anything that you set out to accomplish (such as experiencing happiness or more happiness in your everyday life), I would suggest that you gain some perspective. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Step back from what you are experiencing and take it in. You are really not making any progress, or is that your overachieving mind lying to you? Are you acknowledging all that you have actually accomplished to get to this point in life or are you undercutting your wins with thoughts like “Oh that? Anyone could have done that.” Maybe anyone could have done it, maybe not- but they didn’t do it. You did.
If this is difficult for you, think back to a stressful situation in your past. I would imagine that during that time, it seemed overwhelming, maybe like the situation would span on forever. But now reevaluate the situation. It’s over (or at the least the bulk of the situation and the feelings of overwhelm is over). You got through it. You are on the other side of that obstacle/task/trial/goal. Remember to acknowledge your accomplishments, even if they seem small. If you keep this in mind, you will be able to easier see that even though things may be tough now- putting in the work, feeling the struggle, reaching higher and higher for that goal, things will not always be as they are right now. You will make it. Things change. Nothing is permanent- emotions, situations, hardships. You will get there if you keep being intentional in your actions. These realizations- that things were hard before-you may have thought that you wouldn’t get through it- and you made it through, and that things always change are comforting, and can play an important role in experiencing happiness in your everyday life.
Happiness and Rough Times
Oftentimes, people come to see me in my Jackson, MS office when they are going through a traumatic, hard, or confusing time. I praise them for doing so- knowing that you need to reach out to someone and then actually doing it is an amazing thing. I sit with people in their sadness, their hurt, their fear, and their confusion to provide comfort in knowing that they are truly not alone, and that someone genuinely cares. We then start the journey of finding and nurturing their best selves, and getting back to experiencing the happiness that they deserve in life (you deserve happiness, it can be fixed- don’t let your mind lie to you telling you otherwise). For most people, experiencing happiness during the difficult times in life can seem impossible. I can definitely tell you that it is not impossible. It just takes a different approach.
Feelings and the experience of happiness or joy ebbs and flows, morphs, and is constantly evolving. Something to consider during the rough times: You can not know true happiness unless you know true sadness. Pause a second and really think on that last sentence. What application could this quote have in your life?
I’m trying, but it’s not working…
Sometimes we try to change our mindset, read all the self-help book (or blogs 😉), and stop to smell the roses, but what if we are still plagued by self-critical thoughts? Or are consumed by anger caused by someone stabbing us in the back? Or feel literally heavy from the hurt someone has caused us and we can’t seem to find a way to forgive them? You might feel like you keep trying to run towards happiness, but find yourself not making much progress. I hear you.
Sometimes it can be helpful to have a non-bias person to listen to you and help guide you in the direction that you want to go. Speaking to a therapist or a counselor near you can be vastly beneficial. If you want the best therapist in Jackson, MS or the best counselor near you to help you with what you have been going through, I would suggest finding someone who specializes in that area. For example, if you are having difficulties with your child behaving at school, a therapist who specializes in working with children would likely be the way to go. If you experienced a hurtful, confusing, or traumatic event and that experience seems to be holding you back from living the life that you want to live, finding a therapist who specializes in trauma, stress, and anxiety, would be a good choice (If that sounds like you, check out the Meet Our Therapist page or click https://www.centralmstherapysolutions.com/bahardunn to learn more about yours truly). Finding a good fit with your therapist can make all the difference. Reach out to a therapist near you today. There is no need to continue missing out on the happiness that you deserve.
If you have a topic or a question that you would like for Bahar Dunn, our Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Central Mississippi Therapy Solutions, LLC in Jackson, MS to answer, please email centralmstherapysolutions@gmail.com. Please do not include any identifying information (unless you are comfortable in doing so), as email communication is not always a confidential medium of communication.
Disclaimer: The information in this blog post is for general information purposes only. Nothing in this post or on this website should be taken as therapeutic guidance or therapeutic or medical advice for any situation. This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute, a therapist-client relationship.
**Don't forget to Share our Blog post by clicking the "Share" link below and choosing which Social Media platform you would like to share with.
